I sit and stare at my painting.   It has taken me a year to finish this self portrait.  Not because I lost my love of the art. Not because of  lack of  inspiration.  I have mixed emotions of this accomplishment.  A year, how sad.  I lost mobility of my right upper extremity a couple of years ago and it has progressed do to my RSD.  Although I have a nuero-stimulator implant to help with my daunting pain
it does not give me mobility nor do the drugs.  I have always painted.  Painting for me was like breathing air it gave me such joy.  What has taken me a year to complete would have taken me about three days before my injury.  What has inspired me to continue this challenge?  I must say it was my incredible pain that I must endure.  To many times have I put down my pencil, my paint brush and embarrassed as I am have ripped my drawings from anger.  My biggest problem my right hand can't always feel the pencil or paint brush, my arm cannot mechanically move correctly and my neck cannot look down or up for period of time.  I propped myself up in bed and supported my head, I then positioned my board between my body so that my arm would be able to move according to my range of motion I then rubber banded the pencil as well as my paint brush to my hand.  Why rubber band the pencil or paint brush?  The reason for this is so I wouldn't keep dropping it.  However, with this technique it also cause more pain to my extremities.  RSD also causes pain to touch as well as temperature change.  I became desperate many times and had to stop and take Magic Beans (meds) and lay down and hope for the storm to pass.  I hope that through my painting one can feel my emotional state, to feel not see, to look inside and see the beauty which was given to me.  I guess or should I say I know all things are possible.